The Smart Girls Guide to the Boys Club

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In this article, I will give you some pointers to optimize your success approaching a woman in a mixed group. Michael Jordan missed more shots than he made. The good news is, connecting with women is much easier than playing basketball. For now, the issue is what to do when:. First, some theory on social psychology.

There is no such thing as 4-set, or 5-set, etc. If you want to perform for strangers, at least put out a hat so people can throw change in it. In social groups, people break up into sub-groups of 2 and 3. So for practical purposes, you never have to address more than 3 people. If you are extroverted and have something fun to ask or say, address the group.

But transition to, and engage the woman of your interest as soon as possible. I personally never address a group.

I tried it a little when I first started learning about pickup years ago. Once I realized it was unnecessary, I stopped. I got got much better results being direct, but balancing my sexual desire with social respect. I can handle any interruptions the others give me in a positive, relaxed way, giving respect while garnering it. I am soft spoken but self-assured. If I feel fear, I accept it and keep moving. I know her secret. I know what turns her on. I show her that I know this. I know this is where her attention is, and she knows I know.

She can tell, because of my lack of effort to impress, while at the same time conveying sexuality. The other guys try to look tough, cool, smart, assertive, etc, but none of that turns her on. She sees that I know I can look down out of shyness, I know I can stutter and then laugh at myself, I know I can be awkward.

The fact that I allow myself to be whoever I am, combined with my desire for her makes wet for me. And yet there is nothing about me they can ridicule. If they try to out-alpha me, or make fun of me, they look weak, worrying they will lose their position in the queue for sex. Women can see the insecurity behind male flexing. If any men try to interrupt me, they annoy the woman, because she wants to talk to me.

If they are actually friends with the woman or her brother , they will give her space. They see she likes me, and they let her have fun. If they do talk to me, they will be respectful, and I will be respectful. If you can let a guy know you respect him, he will stay out of your way. I never address the group first. I make eye contact first, before I speak. Sometimes I can walk up and grab her attention with my presence alone. The others in the group look at me, then they watch for her reaction to me. If she likes me, they will relax and talk amongst themselves. If the friends are still looking at me, I introduce myself.

I may face the rest of the group for a second to see if they are interested in learning more about me i.

If they are, I chat a little. I respect the members of the group.

This is crucial if your woman is talking to one other woman. You will need to give the other woman about percent of your attention. Do not try to take over the group. This is the opposite of what typical PUA methods propose. I do not want to be the leader of the group. I do not want to be the alpha. I just want to talk to their friend. These people are friends. You are nobody. You will not be the leader or the alpha male.

This is not war. You are not invading a country. Socializing, when done correctly, is the opposite of conflict, achievement, or conquering. Did I interrupt something important? I never make an effort to take a woman away from her group. If she is with her friends, she can see them, but is thinking about me. This makes them less likely to interrupt me.

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The only reason to isolate physically is to make-out. I use a a slow and sensual kissing technique that gets a woman thinking about me licking her other pair of lips. Also, dancing is a great way to turn a woman on. There are three keys to being good at dancing. Learn to stay on beat by listening to the music, defocus on the sounds, and feel the repeating speed of the drums.

Loose hips, torso, and pelvis.

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If you can press it against her just a couple times so that she feels she is exciting you, that will make a huge difference in her motivation to have sex. If you want to take her home, you must appear safe to the rest of the group. Ask them how they are getting home, and if they have a designated driver. Appear concerned about their well-being. Ask the other women how they feel about the venue — have the guys been creepy or respectful? I have a sister, and when I hang out with her and her friends I feel like the bodyguard.

I bring this up to other men in the group.

A Smart Girl’s Guide to Manners | Our Book Club

Sometimes the protector will be a woman. Do the same thing with her, but add a compliment about her outfit or hair. This is enough to satiate most potential cockblocks. Suffice to say, you want to steer the conversation towards being adventurous, and doing what we wants without worrying what others think. We make our own rules and do what we want, like Bonnie and Clyde.

I have a ton of powerful tactics for turning women on and making them want to go home with you. Two great resources for this are TakeHerHomeTonight. Here are some thoughts on the inner experience of all this. It helps to remind myself that men and women respect courage. Get a sense of bantering and making small talk. You want to convey that you are a masculine, self-assured guy, but not cocky.

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You want to convey a lack of fear of other men, and plenty of physical energy, conveyed with a positive demeanor, and physical movement. Get a sense of how the mom will act, taking note of the patterns of protective behavior. Do the same with mixed groups. Focus on accepting your discomfort, rather than wearing a mask to hide it.

Notice that none of the strategies or tactics laid out are unnatural or strange behavior. All of this is designed to make you comfortable doing something VERY few men have the balls or skills to attempt, because of cultural conditioning.


If you can step out of the matrix, you can explode your sex life. Meeting women in mixed groups is not relatively hard, compared to other life skills cooking, driving, networking, fixing a flat tire, etc. Your biggest challenges will be fear, and lack of social awareness. Learn to pay attention to others while focusing on your woman, so you can see potential issues before they manifest into real obstacles. Keep it simple, and do not fall into the trap of thinking you need to impress anyone. I advise making an extra iota of effort to set the protector at ease, whether man or woman.

You like women.